So here's chapter 2. Hope you enjoy it!
Also, sorry I post so late, my creative brain works best at night. And I said I probably wouldn’t post as much as I would like but, here we are... For this chapter I decided to try doing more dialog and slightly less detail, please let me know if you liked this chapter or chapter one better so I can take it into consideration for chapter 3. If you have any requests, such as lengthening or shortening the chapters let me know. Thanks from the biggest Helmer lover. 😁
Again, Constructive criticism welcome.
They had set off at dawn, and walked for hours, stopping every mile or so, for a short break. Airen and Snoden chatted insistently, and unlike his companions, Helmer did not have that kind of energy. He slouched behind them most of the walk, lost in anxious thoughts.
It was nearly night-fall when they reached a large clearing, and Helmer paused. “I think we should set up camp here.” He said, though he wasn’t confident about his choice, he didn’t want to be on the move at night. “I agree,” said Snoden, his face bright in the sunset. “ I don’t want to be out here, especially cause we don't know what could be out there.” he said motioning to the woods.“Okay,” Airen agreed, looking around wearily and inching closer to Snoden, eyes wide. They walked swiftly across the clearing and seeing nobody else was there yet, they set down their gear. “I’ll put up the tents,” Helmer said “You make the fire, we’ll need it once it gets dark”.
He walked farther away from them and started unpacking the gear, he glanced around. It really was beautiful, the sun set steadily over the tall trees silhouetting them into mere shadows. trees of all kinds surrounded the large field, and he could hear a river rushing past in the distance, The smell of smoke filled the air, and he saw that they had finished kindling and lighting the fire. Soon he had set up three small tents, and he turned brushing his hands together. He saw a fire blazing not far from the third tent, and two shadows sitting next to each other. He grinned and headed their way. He stopped and squeezed in between them, sitting dramatically. Airen scowled at him. "I'm hungry," She wined. Helmer winked at her and withdrew a sack of food for her out of his bag with a playful flourish of his hand, They sat eating in silence for a minute, then Airen spoke with a mouthful of food "When, ill de come? Da oder goop?" she asked "Huh?" said Snoden. She swallowed "When do you think the other group will be here?" he shrugged, and they lapsed back into eating in comfortable silence. Soon after Helmer had finished his meal they heard voices talking loudly “Oh, c- come on, lay off!” Then hysterical laughter, “But you swam through! How can I let it go!!! You COMPLETE IDIOT!!!” More laughter, then two figures burst from a path not far from them. Two grey rabbits entered. Both had muscular frames and bright silver eyes. The much taller one had a scowl on his face. He looked to be about their age, and he was soaking wet, mud covered his whole lower half and he was shivering violently. The other was doubled over in laughter, he seemed to be younger, and he was wearing spectacles that were slightly bent.
“Whittle,” growled the older buck, nodding in their direction. The younger rabbit looked up. His mouth snapped shut, and he stood up straighter. “Hey,” He muttered awkwardly, Moving in their direction. He came and sat by the fire, without invention but the other stayed standing, looking around. “He- He- Hello” the other said, smiling through chattering teeth. “Oh, my goodness!” Airen cried, jumping to her feet. “Are you alright? You’re soaked!!!”
“I’m aware,” The buck said, rubbing his arms, trying to stay warm. Airen rushed off and returned a moment later with a thick blanket, which she threw around his shoulders. Helmer stood up “Here,” He said motioning to his tent. “You can change there.” The buck nodded in thanks and stomped off toward the tent fishing in his bag. “How’d that happen?” Airen asked. The buck, Whittles, face lit up, and a grin tugged at his mouth. “So, there's a river, not too far from here,” He said, his eyes widening with excitement. “And Wilfred had to swim through it because he was to dumb to see the bridge!” He snorted looking down. Snoden chuckled “Great, seems like a bright fella.” He said sarcastically biting into an apple from his small rations bag. “Oh, he is!” Whittle said, raising his head “He’s top of his class! But he’s also very ambitious.” Helmer grinned slightly. He didn’t even know Wilfred but he definitely liked him. He had always received top marks also, but he and Airen had left school at Blackstone to come back home. Suddenly there was a rustling sound as Wilfred emerged from the tent. He was cleaner now and despite his slightly ruffled fur, he looked much better. “Sorry about that,” He said. He smiled charmingly, and Airen blushed as he took her hand and kissed it. He then shook Helmer and Snodens hands in turn. “I’m Wilfred, Wilfred Longtreader. And this is my brother Whittle.” He said motioning to the other buck who was now chomping noisily on a carrot. “I’m Snoden,” Sno said, his eyes narrowing. “And this is Airen.” he nodded at her and she grinned. “I’m Helmer,” Helmer said smirking at his friend, “I’m Airen’s brother.”
“Pleasure.” Wilfred said sitting down next to Airen. “Hey Whittle, Do you mind setting up the tent?”
“Sure.” His brother replied and with one last chomp of his carrot he shuffled off. Soon, Sno and Airen were engaged in deep conversation with Wilfred. “So, where are you from Blackstone or Wandalia?” Airen asked, leaning forward a smile on her face. “We’re from Wandalia, I’m assuming you come from First Warren?” Wilfred asked grinning at her. “Yah, we do.” Snoden added, before Airen could speak. “All three of us, I’m their close friend.” He added. And Helmer smirked. He knew Snoden was jealous of this handsome buck. He felt that Airen was falling for Wilfred, and forgetting about him. “That's great.” Wilfred said looking at Snoden a slightly confused expression on his face. And Helmer assumed it was just culture where he came from to be very polite. “So,” Helmer started, breaking an awkward silence “What are you training for?”
“Well, our older brothers already a captain, so he’ll be the one assigning us. But I’m training for sword, and Whittle, crossbow. What about you three?”
“Oh, I’m just accompanying them until we get to Halfwind.” Airen said blushing again. “I’m a bow, and Helmer here is a sword.” Snoden said, glaring at the newcomer. Helmer, exasperated, sighed turning to Wilfred. “So tell me about yourself.”
They spent until the moon had risen, and the stars glinted in the navy sky, getting to know each other, laughing, and eating delicious cakes a doe had made for Whittle. When he spoke of her he flushed intensely.
“I think I’ll head to bed.” Snoden yawned, and it spread throughout the group, followed by multiple me too’s.
Helmer stood and followed his sister to her tent. “G’night” he said, hugging her. She smiled at him before sliding into her tent. He shuffled to his own tent, and lay down trying to fall asleep quickly. Thoughts swirled inside his head. He was now worried about the group he would be placed in. He knew that because the Longtreader's had a captain as a brother that they would get good teams. He was unsure about himself though. He tried to relax himself, listening to the crickets chirping loudly, and the whispers of the brothers from the other tent. He felt his eyes growing heavy, and a hurricane of dreams came flooding toward him as he drifted off into a restless night's sleep.
Wilfred, Whittle, Sno.. lol... great writing!
Thanks you guys.... you just make me so happy 😁
This is so good! Love the part where Wilfred swam across the river...lol...and how Snoden is jealous...Can't wait for the next chapter...
Liked the dialogue and the descriptions both are really good!
Oh man!!! Love this! Cannot wait for the next chapter...
thanks 😁
Great job. I liked the dialogue in this one and the detail in the other one. I think the length is good as it is.
And ME!?!? Being compared to Master Smith himself?!?!? Again you guys are the best!!!! @Grace Black you. You are. you are just so,
Glad you liked it!!! Next chapter I’ll do some more descriptions but I’ll keep the dialogue 😁
I love it!
That was so good! I loved it.❤️😀 My siblings read over my shoulder and we all got a couple good laughs. I did like the first chapter because it had a little more description in it, which is what S.D. Smith uses a lot, but this was also amazing. We loved the little bits of humor, and it still totally felt like it was from Smith. Keep the chapters coming! I'm looking forward to them!😃