Well enjoy! Also is this going on for too long? I can cut out some stuff and make it shorter if your getting board with the fan fic... Just let me know!
“Wait. WHAT?!?!” Fritz spluttered tripping forward to them. “Esme stop! You don't even know this guy!”
“Fritz.” Esme said, turning to him to glare. “This is my brother. I have no doubt.” But still, she released Richard and sat heavily on the ground, wiping her eyes before letting her head fall into her hands. Fritz moved swiftly to her side and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Her breathing was shaky as she asked, “How are you alive?” her voice was muffled from between her hands. “I ran away.” Richard said. “After you and 2 died.”
“We didn’t. What do you mean?” Esme said, lifting her head slightly so she could see him. He flinched. “What?” she asked him as he looked away. He turned back to her, smiling slightly. “I had forgotten how pretty you were. It's strange to-”
“RICHARD!” Came a shriek as the other rabbit seemed to tromp toward them. “Are you saying I’m not beautiful!” The voice was feminene and it also seemed very familiar to Fritz. .
“No. Of course not. Also you can come out.” Richard said, turning to the noise.
“I’m coming out now no matter where they are.”
Richard sighed. And Esme looked intently over to the brush. “Who is it?” she asked impatiently, frowning and nudging Fritz away. “My girlfriend.” He answered as a doe emerged. She was smiling sweetly. Her arms and legs were wrapped in thick bandages. Her fur. Her voice. Her eyes. It all matched up. She met his eyes. Marisa met his eyes. He felt his mouth drop open in shock as her eyes flashed and widend. “Oh no no no no no no no no no no no!” he spat, getting abruptly to his feet, tripping over a log and sprawling onto the ground.
“You.” she said, spitting on the ground. Richard looked at them confused.
“Why are you- how are you- what?!?!” Fritz said, scrambling around. The shock was strange. He still felt so bitter to her, and yet here she was. The girlfriend of his girlfriend’s brother. This was crazy. He must be hallucinating!
“So we meet again Fritz.” Marisa growled and Fritz felt Esme grip his arm, turning him to face her. Her shocking eyes bore into his and her beautiful face stared up at him anxiously. “Who is this?” she asked, glancing wearily at Marisa. But Richard was nearing, his eyes narrowed. “What did you say your name was.” He said, his voice menacing and dark.
“Fritz. Fritz Vlum.” Richard clenched his teeth and Esme moved protectively in front of Fritz. Sadly that was not very effective being that Richard was much taller than her.
“You do not hurt Marisa.” He hissed, throwing his fist at Fritz’s face. Esme lept in front of him, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back. He let out an anguished scream as she kicked him to the ground ruffly. “Stop!” she yelled, holding her brother's chest down with her foot as he struggled. She turned back to Fritz and he blinked in shock. Her face was more livid then he had ever seen. She was shaking slightly, but she tried to hide it. “Who. is. This.” She said, enunciating each word with enough fury to make Fritz back away in fear of being attacked.
“Hey, calm down.” He said, holding his hands out in front of himself as she released Richard and he slugged gloomily over to Marisa.
“Who. Is. she.” Esme repeated and he could tell she was trying her hardest not to cry.
He sighed, “This is Marisa. Me and her escaped the fire together. Then when I found out about Terrilain she wouldn’t come with me. We had a row and ended our relationship.”
He could see the hurt in Esme’s eyes as she turned away. “Okay.” She whispered. He realized that in all the time they had spent together he had not once mentioned Marisa and he felt the need to blame it one her. Marisa, this was all her fault. He ignored the bile in his mouth and moved over to Esme who was now sitting again. She rubbed her temples as he sat down and looked away again. She was glancing at Richard and Marisa who were now settling down. Richard laid out multiple pieces of cloth and helped Marisa lay on them before going to start a fire in the middle of where they had reunited. “I’m sorry.” Esme said finally, clearing her throat.
“Why are you sorry?” Fritz asked, shocked at her words. He was the one that should be sorry. She had done nothing wrong!
“I’m sorry for being stupid. I’m sure this is much harder on you then it is me and I’m over here making a big deal about seeing my brother.” She laughed though the sadness was hidden poorly. “I’m sorry more.” Fritz said, lifting her chin so she looked into his eyes. She yanked her face away and soon gained an apologetic expression. “I was wrong not to tell you about her, please forgive me?” She smiled, “Of course. I could never stay upset at you. I’m going to go get set up for the night. Okay?”
He nodded, “Okay.” As she walked back to their things she looked down and Fritz felt his heart shatter with guilt. The look in her eyes was one of pain.
Wow!!! Love Fritz and Esme even more! I agree with @Mercy that I'm not liking Richard as much... shouldn't have flipped out like that. Going off to read the next chapter!
Never! It is perfect keep going!!!!!!!!!
Now the story! Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is good, but poor Esme, how could Fritz forget to mention Marisa.....dude seriously.....anyway the chapter was great!!!!!! Can't wait for the next one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is definitely NOT taking too long. I like fanfics that take a long time!
I have one tip: Could you try to not use pronouns quite so much? I get mixed up with all the hes and shes and hers and hims. I have trouble following things, and that would be a lot of help!
Now, for my analysis of the story: I love Esme. I don't really like either Richard or Marissa. Richard is acting crazy, and he shouldn't hurt Fritz before getting to know him. I like him for the sole reason that he is Esme's brother.
I love Fritz, and I love Esme. I don't think that'll change anytime soon.
Thank you so much for this fanfic!
aaaahH!!!!!! MARISA AND FRITZ ARE BACK!!!!!!!!! but Richard and Esme are siblings :(. But yay!!!