Hello every one, here is the chapter.....I don't like it, but eh....anyway hope you guys enjoy this semi-okay chapter....next chapter will be in Lost Longtreaders....feedback, please!
Rissy
Eileen looked around at the chaos that surrounded her like a thick fog. Her eyes widened with fear and her heart pounded like someone was hitting her repeatedly. Slowly her eyes focused on what was going on.
The house was lit with bright fire that sent smoking tendrils into the air. She watched it until it collapsed sending ash spraying in all directions. The smoke from the fire was thick and it began to burn her eyes and lungs until she couldn’t bear it anymore.
Eileen wondered how the molasses-colored doe was doing, she turned to face the doe who was riding behind her. The doe screamed. “No, Lancely! Please, stop!”
Tears ran down the doe’s face and clung to her fur. Her eyes were red and swollen from the smoke and the many tears she had cried. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, it broke Eileen’s heart causing an ache to enter. She didn’t know how to help the doe or her friends, and it was all beginning to weigh on her. But Eileen knew she had to do something, she couldn’t just stand around and watch innocent rabbits die and this doe suffer. She knew how this doe felt, her parents died the same way from an explosion.
Eileen looked into the doe’s sad eyes as she let her own tears fall like rain pouring from the gray sky. She laid a gentle hand on the doe’s shoulder and said with a quivering voice, “I am going to help you the best I can, but I don’t know how much me and my sister can do. I need you to trust me.”
After a while, the doe said, with a broken voice telling of a shattered heart that could not be fixed, “Why? Why are you doing this? Why be so kind to me? I have been jer-k and so horrid. I just want my friends to be safe, I don’t care about myself.”
Eileen fought back more tears that slipped down. She raised her head high like a true warrior and said, “No one here will die, not on my account.” Eileen was about to say more when she saw something out of the corner of her eye, something bad.
Lancely was grinning as his bird dove down sharp talons extended and ready to grab something on the ground. Eileen looked to the ground and saw a black buck, the buck she had fought the other day, one of the doe’s friends. Her heart sank. The bird’s talons were inches away from the buck’s chest.
She heard the doe yell, “Nooo!”
Eileen processed everything as fast as she could. She thought about throwing her sword but figured that wouldn’t be a good idea. The sword was long and there was a good chance that the plan would backfire. If only she had brought a bow, and that’s when it hit her. She didn’t have a bow but Akrasia did.
She cast her eyes around searching for her sister and hoping that by the time she had her plan out it wouldn’t be too late. Then she saw her. Akrasia already had her bow drawn, an arrow on the string aimed at the bird’s heart. Akrasia took a deep breath, then released.
Eileen followed the quick path of the arrow. It soared towards the bird’s heart and soon a screech filled the air as it struck its mark. The bird fumbled to the ground never to rise again.
Lancely began to yell out curses as he drew his sword. Eileen turned her bird down and jumped off as it soared low. She landed gracefully and stood just inches away from Lancely.
“I should have known,” Lancely said in disgust.
Eileen tightened her grip on her sword as she said, through clenched teeth, “So should I.”
“This doesn’t really phase me, Eileen, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. Been waiting to kill you, just never had the chance because the Captain always had a weak spot for you. But now, it seems that I have to kill you.”
Eileen let a knowing smile come to her face as she said, “But don’t you see Lancely, you’ll have to catch me first!”
Oh my goodness!!!!!!! Go Eileen!!!! This was so captivating, fast-paced, and vivid, and you're doing so great at showing and not telling. I love it so much. Poor doe... I feel horrible for her, but you know what, at least she has Eileen. :( Lancely is such a rat. I'm in so much suspense for the next chapter!!!!!
For feedback, honestly, I couldn't find much of anything to give suggestions on, except for a little typo here - "Eileen wondered how the molasses-colored doe was doing, she turned to face the doe who was riding behind her" - there should be a period instead of a comma. That's about it! I'm so looking forward to the next chapter!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she made the right choice!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm still so worried about Cassady #Cassady4life but so happy!