This is absolute insanity. Don't think about it too hard. It's meant to be a meme. Includes OCs. Specifically just Evan. Oh, and Ian, the middle brother unfortunate enough to be stuck between Bleston and Jupiter. Other than that this is totally canon, yep, yeah, definitely. Uh, brief mention of alcohol?

1. Regardless of extenuating circumstances, we are all family. As such, no blood feud, previous assassination attempt, invasion, coup, etc. Qualifies as an excuse to treat each other as something else.

2. Deaths will not be tolerated, no matter how annoyed you are with another member of the family.

3. So no assassinations.

4. Or poisoning.

5. Or stabbing.

6. Or strangling-I’m not blind, Garten, I saw you attempt that last year.

7. No one is allowed to murder Winslow. (Including you, Smalls. Honestly)

8. No weapons. Unless you’ve been specially exempt (only Ian because he’s the only responsible one here). And don’t try to sneak them in either, I will know and then no one will have a pleasant evening. Clear?

9. Good.

10. No alcohol.

11. No spiking anyone’s drinks with liquor-looking at you, Evan, I don’t care how funny you find our brother drunk, it’s undignified.

12. On that note, if someone does manage to spike Smalls’ drink, I expect everyone to act accordingly. Though, by that point, I highly doubt that there will be any semblance of order left.

13. As for the rest of the party, here is a list of people who are not allowed to drink, under any circumstance; Naylen (last year’s incident should suffice, I would prefer not to be cleaning up broken glass the next day) Jo (He suddenly does not shut up, though, frankly, not all that unusual but I still don't want to hear it) and Jupiter (for the same reasons as his son).

14. Yes, we are inviting Bleston. He’s the oldest and happens to have, if unwittingly, helped win the war.

15. But don’t let him near any of the royal jewels.

16. Or Walter.

17. Or Jupiter.

18. Or either Smalls or I.

19. In fact, just lock Bleston in a closet for the duration of the party.

20. And if, somehow, he gets out and ends up fighting with Jupiter, Ian has been universally nominated to make sure rule #1 isn’t broken.

21. Perkin is invited, and it’s his responsibility to make sure his son doesn’t attempt to murder any of his royal relatives again.

22. Garten is invited, but is to remain at least six feet away from the following list of people: Whittel, Sween, Jupiter, Smalls, Emma, and Heather.

23. In fact, Garten and Whittle ought to stay at opposite ends of the room.

24. Wilfred has requested to be kept out of the drama between his brothers, and no one is to bother him about it-regardless of Garten’s impending death threats.

25. If anyone attempts to drag either Heather or Picket into above stated, there will be violence. Primarily from the Joveson family, but regardless.

26. On that note; Whittel, Heather is married; Smalls can quite easily defend her, you can knock off the over-protective father act.

27. Kylen and Smalls are not allowed within six feet of each other.

28. Heather is not to be nominated to mediate between the two above. Evan will, and he’ll actually do his job this year.

29. No ragging on Smalls for being tricked into attacking the Slave Camp. As I recall, several of you happen to have caused far more damage then he ever did, Kylen.

30. Mistletoe is absolutely not allowed, this is a Summer solstice reunion! (Evan, I will never forgive you for last year’s incident. Don’t try it again)

31. There will be no comparing of whether or not a death was honorable, I am tired of hearing about it.

32. No jokes about traitors. Yes, it will always be too soon, Evan.

33. No jokes about eldest brothers always turning out the worst. That is needlessly cruel. (Even if it may have a grain of truth)

34. No jokes about earth-shaking family revelations (looking at you, Picket and Smalls. It stopped being funny the fifth time)

35. No jokes about breaking down doors.

36. No jokes about stabbing. Honestly, Kylen, you realize that that’s insulting to Heather as well?

37. Height jokes will be tolerated as long as Smalls tolerates them; it is out of my hands if he decides to come for you.

38. Walter, if your sons have no interest in interacting with you, perhaps that has more to do with your frankly terrible parenting than anything they have done. Consider it a miracle two turned out as good as they did.

39. I understand, Whit, how you feel about honor. However; that doesn’t mean you must do everything anyone asks you to do.

40. Including assisting with Evan’s pranks.

41. Don’t assist with Evan’s pranks, Whit, it’s a mercy to us all.

42. Someone must moniter Smalls’ caffeine intake. I don’t care who, just don’t let him have more than six cups of coffee. (This was Heather’s rule, just so we are clear)

43. I am forced to acknowledge that the vast majority of our family is, indeed, male. Regardless, there are still quite a few females present and we expect that you act accordingly-in other words, like gentelmen.

44. Any royal family jewels (read: The Green Ember and the Ruling Stone) brought will be confiscated. We are not starting another war over who exactly has the right to them. (This is, once more, primarily the Goodson brothers. Behave, will you?)

45. The same goes for the Starsword.

46. Please, no one touch it. Again, no need to start another war…..

47. No one will be casting bets on who will die next. What is wrong with you people?

48. No casting bets at all; Picket was out $100 last year and almost murdered Kylen because of it. I refuse to allow that to happen again.

49. A list of people not allowed to be within ten feet of each other;

50. Evan, No.