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Rissy

Caspian tried to get some rest like the does told him to before they left the room but he just couldn't. No matter how hard he tried every time he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep nightmares of his brother would make him remember how it was his fault. So instead of going to sleep Caspian paced the small room with tears streaming down his face like a wave of water from the great sea.

Caspian laid his hands on his face as he stopped pacing and let his body start to shiver in a way that he could not stop. He tried to piece himself back together like someone would with a puzzle but it was no use. He let his emotions tear and destroy him into a thousand pieces and cast them into the sea of oblivion.

Caspian fell to his knees, more and more tears escaping from his eyes. He cried so hard that everything in him began to feel weird. Stuffed away. Caspian couldn't word the painful feeling it was like someone was slowly ringing his heart out. Only that wasn't what was happening, this was a much different pain. To tell you the truth it was almost worse than someone stabbing a knife through you. It was a pain of love for your little brother and it hurt Caspian so much because his love was so, so powerful. He couldn't explain it. He and his brother were so close and neither one of them would ever leave the others side. But Caspian did and that's how his brother's death came. He was gone and Caspian couldn't make the thought go away. It was all his fault.

He knew in truth that it wasn't his fault. It just felt better to blame it on himself. Caspian felt more sobs come out as it slowly began to strangle him. It was like someone had a tight grip around his throat and was slowly squeezing him to death. The choking sobs were followed by large shivers that he couldn't contain. Caspian slowly rose to his feet as he heard loud cheerful laughter on the other side of the wall, followed by a knock on the door. He walked towards the door as he wiped the flood of tears away with his sleeve. He reached for the handle and opened it.

Dr. Hendow stood in the doorway along with an average-sized doe with kind, deep brown eyes. She held a tray of food with a small smile on her face, a smile that comforted Caspian. He looked towards Dr. Hendow as he spoke with a sad, smooth tone, "Me and my wife, Linda, came to check on you before heading to bed. She prepared some supper for you that is if you're hungry. You don't have to eat if you don't want to, she understands if you don't want to. Now may we enter the room?"

Caspian slowly nodded, as he tried to control the emotions that wanted to slip out of him. Why were these rabbits being so nice to him when he was selfish? The worst part was they reminded him so much of his parents that he almost couldn't bear to hear them speak. It hurt so much and made him long all the more for his parents, his brother, and his sister that were all dead. "I will never get to see them again," Caspian said as he hung his head low and let the tears slip out. They clung to his fur and dripped from his cheeks forming a small puddle on the floor beside him.

"Now, now, it's okay young one. There is no need to cry. Everything is going to be all right," he heard Linda say in a moving tone that almost made him break down more, but he didn't.

"That's what everyone says, that it's going to be okay but the truth is it's not. It's not going to be okay because they are gone, gone I tell you, and they're never coming back not in this world or any other. You hear me! They're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone," Caspian said as he looked at the blurry image of Linda through his tears.

"Hold this dear," Linda said as she handed the tray of food to Dr. Hendow. She then walked to Caspian her long dress swishing around her ankles. She laid a gentle hand on Caspian's shoulder. "You're right about one thing, young one, your parents and your brother are gone. But you're wrong about another, they're not gone forever. One day you will see them again and y'all will be together. It might be a while from now, but one day that day will come. Until then you must be brave that is what your brother and parents would want from you. They wouldn't want you to mope around like you're doing right now. You have so much to live for young one, so much to see. Don't waste it mourning over their deaths, spend it in a way that is beautiful. A way that will make you happy, okay sweetie?" Linda said.

Caspian thought about what she said and how much it reminded him of his mother. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, only this time he needed someone to comfort him. Caspian fell into Linda's arms sobbing and shivering and then his emotions took over him in a good way. In a way that would make him feel better, make him a new rabbit. It would make his brother proud along with his mother, father, and sister, only if they could see him now, he thought.

Caspian felt Linda place her arms around him gently smoothing the back of his head like his own mother which made him cry ten times harder, but it felt nice to have someone that was like a mother comfort you. She whispered in his ear, "It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be just fine, l promise. I'm here for you if ever you need me, I'll be here," Linda said as she broke away from the hug and wipe the stream of tears away from Caspian's eyes. She then gave him a big cheerful smile, that seemed to light up.

Caspian felt a new ache inside his heart only this time it was good. It was love.

"Now let's let you get some rest, you'll need it," Dr. Hendow said as he walked toward Caspian and Linda.

Caspian hated to admit it but after all the crying and shaking he was actually tired and this time he didn't think he was going to have those nightmares. If anything he would have good dreams.

"That sounds nice," he looked toward the tray of food, and added, "after I get something to eat though, I'm hungry all a sudden." Which was true, he didn't remember the last time when he actually had a proper meal.

"That sounds wonderful," Linda said with a big grin.

Caspian smiled back only it was somewhat fake. Even if he was feeling better he wasn't feeling quite up to giving a real smile just yet. Dr. Hendow held the tray of food out to Caspian.

It had two rolls, some fruit, and some tea, Caspian's stomach made a small growl as he took the tray from Dr. Hendow. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"Anytime," Dr. Hendow said.

"Well, I guess we'll leave you to eat then," Linda said as she looked up at Dr. Hendow smiling. She then looked towards Caspian and added, "If you need anything let us know okay, even if we're asleep is not going to bother us we're used to it being parents and all."

"Thank you for everything," Caspian said.

"Anytime," Dr. Hendow added as he put an arm around Linda and walked her out of the room.

After shutting the door Caspian ate all of the food that was on the tray. It was the best food he had had in a long time. His stomach was stuffed and he was tired. He walked towards the bed and threw the covers back as he slowly climbed in, before Caspian knew it he was sound asleep. He didn't have a signal nightmare. Instead, he had sweet dreams about what Linda had said to him. 'Your brother would want you to be happy, brave, he would want you to enjoy life.' Linda was so right, so from now on that was what he would do. He would enjoy life while he could for his family.

After a while of sleeping Caspian got rather warm and started rolling back and forth, sweat dripping and clinging to his fur and clothes. Screams and shouts invaded his pleasant dreams. His eyes shot open as the awful smell of smoke filled his nostrils. He looked around the dark room with wide eyes as he realized a house was on fire.

Fear rose in him as one thing came to his mind, he had to get all the rabbits out and now. Before it was too late. "Not again," he said, "not again."