I'm really not sure what I think about this chapter, so any feedback is appreciated!!
Blessings,
A. R.
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After they had eaten the small bounty Dylan had brought, Laurel broke the silence. “Lieutenant, what is going on? You gamble away all your money so that I could have the day off, you come and tell me that you have to fulfill a promise you made to my dad, you drag me off the street, tell me to run into the lepers district, then show up with food! What’s happening?” She asked, completely confused. Dylan watched her with raised eyebrows. “What?” Laurel asked. Dylan smirked.
“You have some spunk, Laurel. The most I’ve ever seen.” Laurel’s jaw dropped. “Did you just compliment me?” She asked in a low voice. Dylan smiled wide. “Maybe.” Then he sobered. “First things first; stop calling me lieutenant. My name is Dylan, and I prefer to be called who I am. Second, your dad made me promise that I’d get you here so that you could truly learn what’s happening so you can help.” Laurel gave him a questioning look before speaking. “Kay, let’s try this again a little slower and one fact at a time.” She suggested, looking down at the table as she said it.
Dylan folded his hands in front of him and hunched over a little, like he was preparing to share something forbidden. “Okay,” he began, his voice quiet. Laurel didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she exhaled shakily. Dylan glanced up at her, his expression nervous. What was the real Dylan, she asked herself. Finally, he began. “I came here as a prisoner when I was a kid. I had a sister who was older than me by a few years, and my parents were also brought here. My dad started out as a farmer, while my mom- and eventually my sister- were servants in Morbin’s lair. I was too young for anything, so I was shipped off to one of their schools.”
Dylan shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he adjusted the coat collar around his neck. “I didn’t know what was good or bad, since my parents didn’t have the courage or faith in me to share any sort of dream of freedom. So, I was known to be a tell-tale. I’d tattle on my classmates who were too naïve to know better than say anything other than what the school taught us. So, I was a favorite.” He hung his head as he continued his tale, Laurel just listening in complete shock and sorrow- for his family, the other rabbits of Akolan, and… him.
His eyes clouded over as he continued his tale. “Because I didn’t know any better, I became one of them. My family couldn’t talk to me about anything when I came home because they were scared I would report them. But I wouldn’t, I loved them regardless. But…” he drifted off, turning to look over at the door, either to check something or to have a moment of respite. Laurel was trembling, but she knew it must be harder for him. “Dylan, you can stop. I didn’t mean for you-" He turned back to her, shaking his head. “You need to know.”
He rubbed his eyes and continued. “Something came to light about my family; I didn’t know what, because I was too young and dumb to know any better. Whatever the case, one day my teacher pulled me aside and said I would be accepted into a very special class. I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to tell my family. But when I asked my teacher when I could tell my parents, they said that they had been relocated. They told me I’d see them again soon, and I held onto it… but…” Dylan broke off and drew a ragged breath, tears filling his eyes.
“One day, I overheard a few lieutenants talking about troublemakers among the outer districts. I, being a naughty buck, listened to them… and learned of my family’s murder.” Laurel covered her mouth, her heart absolutely shattering. She didn’t expect to learn this much about Dylan. She thought he was just an entitled buck who was maybe the son of a captain. But no; he was as much a prisoner as her. But worse.
Dylan clenched his jaw and blinked his tears away, finally able to look at Laurel without his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. “You asked, and now you know. But I ask that this be kept between us; I don’t need rabbits- or wolves and birds of prey for that matter- to know that I’m not a complete soldier of steel.” Laurel exhaled, subtly wiping her eyes. “I wouldn’t. I just, wow… I didn’t even think that…” she shook her head. “I’m sorry. No one should have to go through that, no one. And I’m sorry you had to.”
Dylan looked down, closing his eyes. “Thank you.” A long silence followed, and a question came to Laurel’s mind. “Is that what, I don’t know, makes you different? From the administration, I mean?” She asked, knowing full well the Forbidden territory she was crossing into. Dylan looked up at her, his eyes gentle. Perhaps this was Dylan, not arrogant or a tattletale. Just… hurt.
“It changed something in me, that’s for certain. I had to grow up that day, and I decided I would train to become a lieutenant. I wanted to have a rank of power, to command bucks to do whatever I wanted. But secretly, I wanted to break the necks of those who had done such a thing to my parents and sister. As I studied however, I began to learn somethings that the administration desperately wanted to keep undercover. What they called a just king and plentiful land, I recognized as cruel slaves and tormentors, barren, rough land, and rabbits turning against their own. If that was what Morbin had to offer, I wanted nothing of it.”
Dylan snarled. “I didn’t know what to do. If Morbin’s reign was to be so terrible, I considered ending myself. But… something changed. Something was planted into my mind and heart, and it’s never stopped growing. It only expands, and it’s near the point of absolutely erupting.” He explained, a smile finally touching his handsome features. Laurel could only smile and lean forward, desperate to hear more. Another life? Without Morbin, or rations, or a life of absolute fear? If such a thing existed and was there for whoever wanted it, she was ready to hear it.
Dylan continued. “I learned of the Mended Wood. And there is a secret place that is readying themselves to escape and aid the Resistance outside of Akolan, in the Great Wood. There is a revolt, and a hidden heir who will conquer Morbin! It’s all going to happen so soon!” Laurel could hardly breath. Hope! There was such a thing! Mother was wrong! Her heart pounding with excitement, she reached across and grasped his hand, not comprehending the status of her as a servant, or he a lieutenant. They were the same. Ready for a better life… one that Jupiter’s heir had to offer.
“Who told you about this? How did you hear?” Laurel asked. Dylan sobered slightly, but his eyes were bright with excitement. “Two rabbits. My captain, and your father; Linden Evergreen.”
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A Forbidden Trust - Chapter 5
A Forbidden Trust - Chapter 5
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(By the way, my sister is reading through your fanfic and LOVES it!)
Hhhhhhhhhhh Dylan,,,,,, his backstory is so good!!!! Yessss
I love this!!! You're an AMAZING writer!! Sorry I didn't comment sooner, but we were camping :)
Amazing!!!!!!!!! Love the story!!! We like Dylan, but why do we feel like we can't trust him...lol....maybe its because we always like the characters that turn traitor, Kyle, Perk, Bleston, Slimmo....nuff said...lol.....This was a great chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chills... I officially love Dylan!!!! Part of him still seems a bit suspicious, but wow, Idk! Awesome job!
Dylannnn your sob story is sad...but I don’t fully trust you! I’m nervous he’ll use Laurel, if he means to or not. another thing...you said feedback so here is a little thing many authors seem to forget. After one character has finished talking, you are supposed to begin a new sentence/hit the return button! 1. It makes it cleaner. And 2. You can read it better! sorry that is a little pet peeve of mine 😅
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm DYLAN. He seems sus. I agree with Cassie, I am waiting for your book to come out! You are so gifted!
I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I SAW THIS!!! YeS!!! DYLAN!!! My emotions were literally 😱😖😡😭🥺😱
Its so well written and I love it so much!!! I can’t wait for next chapter!!! Ieigidif aaaaggggghhhh this is just so amazing and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And reading this I’m just like so impatient for your book to come out so I can read it! Because you were born to write. God was like, hmmmmm... I’m going to make a wonderful person and she‘s going to be so talented, let’s add a bit of writing and then he added all of it and yes. I’m just ranting but I love it so so so so much. 💚💚💚😆😆😆😆😆