Welcome all, to another session of Kel's Madcap theories, where we make theories with all the precision of a white ant crafting magnificent swords. Today, we're talking...

Picket's flying machine!

To start off, let's lay down some assumptions. These rabbits, I have always assumed, are not average-sized rabbits. I'd say they, when standing on their back legs, are about three feet tall. According to yahoo.answers, "It depends on the rabbit. A Netherland Dwarf might not be more than about 14" standing on their tippy toes. A Flemish Giant could be 3ft if they stand up all the way... For an average 4-6 pound rabbit, 2ft tall should be good, but you can go higher if you need to. If you are in doubt about the height, go a bit taller to be safe."

This article wasn't talking about the actual standing height of a rabbit, but rather how high a rabbit hutch needed to be. So we still haven't found our answer. So we'll have to find it ourselves.

Now, there are some differences (cough) between a real rabbit and a Green Ember rabbit. For one, when Green Ember rabbits stand up, they look more human because of the way they stand on their footpads, on their "toes," so to speak.

Now, a real rabbit wouldn't stand like this. This is what it would look like if a real rabbit stood like this.

Perhaps what we need are larger rabbits to compare to... what looks like a rabbit but is larger than a rabbit?

Let's compare to a jackrabbit, which is actually a type of hare.

But don't they look more like TGE rabbits than real rabbits? Look at this chart.

As you can see, the hare's back legs look more like our TGE rabbits back legs, and the ears, face, and size are closer to a TGE's, too.

So, for this post, we're going to assume that a TGE rabbit is the size of a real-life jackrabbit. Specifically, a white-tailed jackrabbit.

(Yes, I used Wikipedia for this. Sorry, Speech Teacher!)

Here's what Wikipedia says about the weight and height of a jackrabbit. "This jackrabbit has an adult length of 56 to 65 cm (22 to 26 in), including a tail measuring 6.6 to 10.2 cm (2.6 to 4.0 in), and a weight between 2.5 and 4.3 kg (5.5 and 9.5 lb)".

Picket is still young, so we'll assume that he's 6 pounds, about 24 inches long crouching, and 3 feet tall standing.

This is where things get tricky.

After some searching on Zoo's websites, I found the bird closest to Picket's height and weight is the BLACK VULTURE- Height : 23-27 inches; Wingspan: 50-60 inches; Weight:   2.2-4.4 pounds

So it's a pound or two lighter than Pick, but it's pretty close. Close enough for our purposes.

Now, let's look at what this glider-thing can do, according to the books.

First, it can glide. Duh. It can arrest Picket's fall enough to safely make landings and to lengthen his time in the air to- what? Five minutes? Longer than five minutes?

All this is well and good. But that's not all it can do.

This glider can go upwards. It can somehow catch wind channels and go higher than itself. And it can do this seemingly without end. Picket can jump off a balcony, and somehow glide- upwards- to a wall top.

It can be steered and moved through the air at will. Picket can, somehow, choose which direction he wants this thing to go, up, down, left, right, anywhere.

Back to the black vulture.

This thing has a wingspan over twice its height. Its wings are huge, proportionally. In order for Picket to even try to glide, his wings have to be huge.

For reference, here's how big of wings humans would need to even glide.

Can Picket's glider actually work?

Here it the only picture that we have of it, so far. Let's see here.

I understand creative license, and the fact that we can suspend our disbelief, but this is so beyond logical that it's very jarring. I am sorry to break it to you, Mr. Smith, but Picket does not actually "fly." He falls and the glider snaps into three hundred pieces, and that's the end of that. Also, there is no way for him to steer that thing. Just leaning to and fro won't do. He needs a rudder of some sort, like tail feathers on a bird or the tail fin on an airplane.

In order for this flying machine to even glide, it would have to be more like this:

Even here, the rabbit is oversized!

Forget swooping around, and going up in the air, and jumping off a balcony, or walking around, and moving through any tight space. Also? The fabric gets ripped by a bird, and you're dead. Boom.

In other words, Picket's glider is not physically possible. It could maybe work if it was a lot bigger, but it is in no way the "savior" that it is constantly pictured as in The Green Ember Saga. You cannot just hop into your glider, and suddenly all is saved. No, S. D., great author that he is, has done something here. What has he done?

(I'm sure some of you understand.)

This concludes this session of Kel's Madcap Theories. Tune in next time as we address the question...

What could be in the "magic healing ointment", made by Aunt Jone? And what are the ramifications of this!

Till next time, be free and happy, like a pickle in a pepper pot!